Trains, Railroad Ties and ADHD Relationships

It’s the small stuff that guarantees success!

If you’re in a relationship that includes ADHD it’s important to be aware that it can suddenly derail like a train chugging along on a track undermined with rotten ties? You need to ask yourself if your train (relationship) is at risk of lurching off the tracks.

Let’s explain the similarities.

People with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) are often completely unaware of the many times throughout a day they forget an important event, break a promise, arrive or leave late, and leave a mess behind when they depart. Usually they think simply saying "I’m sorry" is going to make everything instantly okay.

IT DOESN”T!!

A good relationship runs on agreements that are met just as trains need to run on well-maintained tracks.

Most people are on the alert for the big things – the obvious events – that will damage or ruin a relationship. They are like the engineer of a train who is on the alert for a collapsed bridge or a car stalled on the tracks. While it’s important to watch out for those obvious obstructions, the real danger can often lie in the smaller things that we’re not necessarily alert to…like the railroad ties.

Railroad ties are extremely important for the successful operation of a train. They support the incredible weight of the engine and all the cargo that it conveys. They also hold (tie) the tracks together. From an aesthetic point of view, ties are rather dull, rough and often taken for granted. They aren’t interesting enough to really give them our attention.

But someone had better give them attention! Railroad ties are so important railroad companies pay experts to inspect them on a regular basis. The inspections are vital to minimize any risk of an accident. Rotten and damaged ties are removed and replaced with strong new ties so trains run dependably and lives won’t be placed at risk.
An average of 3,000 railroad ties support each mile of track?

Our relationships are like train tracks – they need supporting ties! When we make a promise and keep it, we create a tie. When we hold up our end of an agreement, we put down a tie. When we pitch in and help, a tie is added. Little by little our relationship is strengthened; tie upon tie, day after day.

Usually we don’t think of our relationship as being like a railroad track. If we’re honest about it we often take our relationships for granted. Relationships are easy to take for granted until there is a sudden risk of derailing and then we wonder what got us off track!

What gets a relationship off track is when we forget to inspect the ties that bind our tracks. We get sloppy and careless and don’t maintain those small, seemingly insignificant things that collectively create a strong foundation for our relationship. Our ties become rotten!

Here’s how the ties rot out in a relationship:

Every time you say you say you’re going to do something and then you don’t, you begin the rot of one of your ties. Every time you’re late for a meeting or picking up your partner, another tie rots out. Every time you leave a mess for someone else, a tie crumbles.

Are you getting the picture?

Each one of those ‘bad’ ties is a small act of betrayal. Add them up over time and the support for your relationship becomes a rotted mess.

Think of all the ties you carefully set in place each time you made a promise and kept it. Now think about how a broken promise can damage ties of support. It truly doesn’t make much sense to carefully set a tie in place and then turn around and let it get destroyed.

But it happens every day.

Today, right now, start paying attention to the small stuff. Taking care of the small stuff, over time, will add up to your relationship running smoothly. Ignoring the small stuff increases the risk of relationship derailment.

Keep your promises! Clean up your messes! Be dependable! Keep your papers organized. Like a train – run on time!

ADHD can be hard to live with…whether you’re the one who has ADHD or you’re in a relationship with someone who has it. But there are solutions.

If you have ADHD it can be managed! You can adapt to it and improve significantly! You can get better and we are here to help. You don’t have to go through life feeling like you’re alone and lacking support. Just like the railroad ties the support massive trains there are people who understand what you’re dealing with and are willing to support you.

Learn to become more aware of how you take care of the small stuff in your life and one day you will realize that your life has become like a dependable train that is running on a well-maintained track and has strong ties holding it together.